David Wozniak, this eternal 42 year old teenager, works as a delivery man for his family's butcher company and owes $80,000 to gangsters. In the meantime, his girlfriend, Valerie, tells him she's pregnant. However, she quickly tells him she doesn't want him in her child's life because he's too irresponsible.
Soon after, David's past resurfaces. He discovers that he is the biological father of 533 children as a result of some mighty productive visits to the local sperm bank, under the alias of "Starbuck". 142 of whom have filed a class action lawsuit to discover the identity of their biological father. Out of curiosity, he goes to visit his "children", and found new meaning in his life. Suddenly, his life is much more complicated that he anticipated.